91.
with hands on my shoulders
the man led me backwards
down a long hallway
past the rooms where women come undone
past christmas
& used wedding gowns for sale
past rooms with old laughter
sweating up the walls
he led me backwards
all the way down to Eve
who sat nude
& declared
that mercy was for losers
& condemned me
to liberation wars of convenience
92.
the man led me
backwards
into a wooden chair
he removed the blindfold
what games are these, i asked
chance, liberation, war & mercy
you’re now mine, he said
you’re now mine
along with spike milligan & the goons
tattered manuals
& old love poetry
you’re now mine
i found you a spot on the shelf, see?
93.
another man
a masked man
demanded all
one hundred & sixty five kisses
if i had any expectation of release
so i told him what i know to be true:
a lipsticked mouth must never be kissed
a lipsticked mouth is not for kissing
a lipsticked mouth is art
is protection
is political statement
is the distance between now & never
94.
I’ll love you in a minute, you said
blue on brown, blue on brown
I’ll love you in a minute
you said
& in that chasm
nature unleashed itself
— lightning struck countless times
earthquakes, firestorms
children died & were born
died & were born again
in the minute I was waiting
terror smiled
blue on brown, blue on brown
waiting for the world to settle
95.
& then there were three men left in the country.
Actually, strictly speaking
there were two & a boy
but we called all of them men
the boy to remind us how to have sons
which was to say
that having sons was not like having daughters
the other was
pure & unadulterated pleasure
which was to remind us how to have a man
which was to say that having a woman
was not the same as having a man
the third was a man of the old kind
who was there to remind us
that we needed a man to tell us what to do
to remind us, we reminded him
it felt necessary
because he had no other use
because we did what we needed to do
whether or not he was there
Juliane Okot Bitek 